| The prayer | ||||
| 07:55pm 02/01/2005 | ||||
The Prayer by Josh Groban I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go, And help us to be wise, in times when we don't know Let this be our prayer, as we go our way Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace To a place where we'll be safe... La luce che tu dai I pray we'll find your light Nel cuore resterà And hold it in our hearts A ricordarci che When stars go out each night L'eterna stella sei Nella mia preghiera Let this be our prayer Quanta fede c'è When shadows fill our day Lead us to a place Guide us with your grace Give us faith so we'll be safe Sognamo un mondo senza più violenza Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza Ognuno di la mano al suo vicino Simbolo di pace e di fraternità La forza che ci dai We ask that life be kind E' il desiderio che And watch us from above Ognuno trovi amor We hope each soul will find Intorno e dentro a sé Another soul to love Let this be our prayer Let this be our prayer Just like every child Just like every child Needs to find a place, guide us with your grace Give us faith so we'll be safe E' la fede che Hai acceso in noi Sento che ci salverà It's not that I forget, but sometimes I just get reminded that I'm so in love with Ken. |
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aggravated| Hi! I'm back. Miss me?! | ||||
| 06:04pm 29/12/2004 | ||||
So I'm back from Florida. DER! I got back yesterday afternoon. Bleh! Twas a very early flight. It was awesome. I met Ariel!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! There was lots and LOTS of parades going on. They were muy interesante. My brother acted really weird while we were there. He was really hyper the whole time but in a cute way, not a bratty way like he usually is. But as soon as we got home he was back to normal. So I'm a jinks. Is that how you spell that?! yea but uh when we were in Florida it rained and poured and it was very windy. I was looking forward to Arizona's sunny sky...and it's rainy. But I like Arizona rain better than Florida rain. Yea so my dad is in Spain. He said he got lonely on Christmas (since he did have a g/f or kids around) so he gave himself a birthday present by going to Spain. He comes back the 30th...which is when I'm supposed to go back to his house. Ya know my parents are starting to really tick me off. They're too chicken to talk to each other so they tell me stuff expecting me to tell the other parent. But that's not the way it is supposed to work. Because then when there is a disagreement they kinda shoot the messenger. So dumb. So i got the Maroon 5 cd for Christmas from Ken and I was blasting it today while cleaning the bathroom. It is one of those cds where every song is good. I need to go shopping. I got gift cards for Old Navy and Borders for Christmas! WOOT WOOT! yea, yea. Tonight Ken and I are going to see Meet the Fockers! I'm excited to see him because it has been a whole week!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! BTW...while we were gone Ken fed Bingo and all that which means he has a key to my house. I'm really shocked that my mother is ok with that! Doesn't that surprise you?!?! Totally forgot what I was going to say. Nuts and bolts! Oh yes I remember! New years eve is 14 months for me and Ken! ZIPPITY DO DA! But we don't care about that! Right Ken?! We go by years now! So we don't care until it's our 2 year anniversary...yup that's right. I read through Kimi's Nye invite again and I somehow felt that the making out clause was put there for me and Ken. lol! BTW KIMI!!! there's like a 75% chance that I'll go! Right-o then. Cherrio! WAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT |
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anxious| sssssiiiiiiiiiiiing | ||||
| 11:28pm 18/12/2004 | ||||
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sleepy| stupid internet | ||||
| 01:59pm 04/12/2004 | ||||
Ken is going to pick me and David up at 3 to go to the game. I worried because it is rainging and freezing outside. It wasn't like that last year! :( I have lots of hw. So I'll do that but I just wanted to update for the fun of it! |
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cold| for you Kimi. | ||||
| 09:14pm 22/11/2004 | ||||
There's nothing in it yet but it's something |
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loved| 07:52pm 03/11/2004 | ||||
Kimberly story is tomorrow!!!!!!! So I never talked about me and Ken's anniversary. It was one whole year one the 31st! Can you believe that?! That's a really long time but it doesn't feel like it at all. I made him cherry cobbler. It was my very first cobbler and I felt quite accomplished. Yea but he gave me a bracelet that has my name on a heart and the other said says "I will always love you! Ken." I could've cried. I really almost did. He also gave me a music box that plays the most beautiful song called "memory" I love it so much! It's shaped like a heart and it says "Danielle Happy Anniversary" I keep playing the song over and over. Still afraid of The Grudge. Ah! Bush won. wwwwweeeee...I don't really mind. I think Kerry might be a better president but there is no sure way to know. I'm really tired. I started reading Huck Finn and it was really interesting but my mind kept wondering. yea. ok bye |
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| You and I - Jason Mraz | ||||
| 04:30pm 17/10/2004 | ||||
Oh things are gonna happen naturally Oh taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side And balancing the whole thing Oh but at often times those words get tangled up in lines And the bright light turns to night Oh until the dawn it brings A little bird to sing about the magic that was you and me 'Cause you and I both loved What you and I spoke of And others only read of Others only dream of the love Oh the love that I love la la la la See I'm all about them words Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words Hundreds of pages, pages, pages for words More words than I had ever heard And I feel so alive Oh then you and I you and I Not so little you and I any more Oh, and with this silence brings a moral story More importantly evolving Is the glory of a boy 'Cause you and I both loved What you and I spoke of And others just read of And if you could see me now Well then i'm almost finally out of I'm finally out of Finally de de de de de de de, well i'm almost finally, finally, Well I am free, free, free And it's ok If you had to go away Oh just remember the telephones Well they're working it both ways But if I never, ever hear it ring If nothing else I'll think the bells inside have finally found you someone else And that's ok 'Cause I'll remeber everything you sang 'Cause you and I both loved What you and I spoke of And others just read of And if you could see me now Well then im almost finally out of I'm finally out of, finally de de de de de de de de, Well i'm almost finally finally, Out of words. |
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bored| my first "I hate my hair" cut | ||||
| 07:14pm 06/10/2004 | ||||
I read a whole bunch of Crime and Punishment today. It is such a good book. The guy is psycho!!!! I read from about 8:30 to 1:30 and when I stopped I was starving. I kinda forgot to eat...which really has been having some weird effects on me lately. My body goes crazy if I miss one meal...dunno what the deal is. SSooooo guess what...!!!!!!!!! My dad bought Robin a basset hound as a parting gift. !?QUE?! No comprendo en mi cabeza! Does that make sense?! He said that he did it so they could end on good terms...AND...so that if they got back together, they could have a dog. BTW he is at counseling with her right now. stuff is strange. I looked at more college stuff today. (I guess I didn't tell you that the day before Robin and my dad broke up she bought me a couple books on colleges and their rankings and all that.) So I'm pondering Wellesley which if you didn't know is an all girl school. It's in Massachussets which is a big plus. I've noticed lately that most people have already chosen one college they want to go to but I don't have it narrowed down. I know I want to go back east. My dad said he doesn't want me to go to New York my first year. Funny thing is, that's where all the good stuff is, but my dad said I could always transfer later. I dunno. I dunno. So many options, so many roads...reminds me of Robert Frost. |
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| so bored and a tid bit sick. | ||||
| 01:54pm 05/10/2004 | ||||
Things I learned: 1)you cannot keep shaved ice in the freezer...it's just not the same 2)contacts left out in the open with no water around turn into prunes. |
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sick| steps, daniel bedingfield, paula abdul | ||||
| 08:42pm 27/09/2004 | ||||
"One For Sorrow" I wanted your love, But look what it's done to me, All my dreams have come to nothing, Who would have believed? All the laughter that we shared would be a memory, I cannot count the tears you've cost me, If I could have seen. And do you ever think of me, And how we used to be? Oh, I know you're somewhere else right now, And loving someone else no doubt, Well I'm one for sorrow, Ain't it too too bad? Are you breaking someone else's heart? 'Cos you're taking my love where you are, Well I'm one for sorrow, Ain't it too bad about us, I wanted your love, But I got uncertainty, I tried so hard to understand you, All the good it did me, Now the places that we knew, Remind of how we were, Everything is just the same, But all I feel is hurt, And do you ever think of me, And how we used to be? Daniel Bedingfield Lyrics If You're Not The One Lyrics If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today? If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way? If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all I never know what the future brings But I know you are here with me now We’ll make it through And I hope you are the one I share my life with I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed? If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head? If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life? If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife? I don’t know why you’re so far away But I know that this much is true We’ll make it through And I hope you are the one I share my life with And I wish that you could be the one I die with And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with I hope I love you all my life I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? ‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today ‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right And though I can’t be with you tonight And know my heart is by your side I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am Is there any way that I Paula Abdul Cold-Hearted lyrics How come how come he can he can tell-a tell-a you're-a you're-a Always always number number one without a doubt (He's one cold snake) When-a when-a he is he is always always squirmin' squirmin' Like a little snake under-a e-ver-y-a rock (No give, all take) You've been you've been workin' workin' on the on the love And he's been only only playing undercover all the while (One smooth sharp tongue) Take a take another 'nother look into his eyes (He just talks) And you will on-ly see a rep-tile He's a cold-hearted snake Look into his eyes Oh oh oh He's been tellin' lies He's a lover boy at play He don't play by the rules Oh oh oh Girl don't play the fool--no You're the one givin' up the love Anytime he needs it But you turn your back and then he's off and runnin' with the crowd You're the one to sacrifice Anything to please him Do you really think he thinks about you when he's out He's a cold-hearted snake Look into his eyes Oh oh oh He's been tellin' lies He's a lover boy at play He don't play by rules Oh oh oh Girl don't play the fool--no It was only late last night He was out there sneakin' Then he called you up to check that you were waiting by the phone All the world's a candy store He's been trick or treatin' When it comes to true love girl with him there's no one home He's a cold-hearted snake Look into his eyes Oh oh oh He's been tellin' lies He's a lover boy at play He don't play by rules Oh oh oh Girl don't play the fool--no You could find somebody better girl He could only make you cry You deserve somebody better girl He's c-cold as ice He's a cold-hearted snake Look into his eyes Oh oh oh He's been tellin' lies He's a lover boy at play He don't play by rules Oh oh oh --Girl don't play the fool--no He's a cold-hearted snake Look into his eyes Oh oh oh He's been tellin' lies He's a lover boy at play He don't play by rules Oh oh oh Girl don't play the fool |
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| My first crash | ||||
| 09:09pm 26/09/2004 | ||||
When I told Mrs. Evans I crashed she just nodded. My parents were really cool about it. Very sympathetic I guess you could say. I was really glad they didn't come down on me for it because I had just sat and thought about it all day. I was really upset with myself and all shaken up about it. yea... drive safely guys. ok bed. |
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| church is special | ||||
| 08:23pm 12/09/2004 | ||||
During the service I got chills, not the kind you just get down your back though. I could feel it go through every part of me. I dunno. I really liked going to church. I felt very different afterward. I surprised myself in how I felt. I thought about Mrs. Evans during one of the intervals between this and that. I just thought about how literally everyone loves her. Then I thought about how she always says that she's our mother. I started comparing her to my mom. Then I noticed that the things that make me feel so attached to her are the qualities my mom lacks. They are total opposites: my mom is fair, literal, and very stolid. Mrs. Evans on the other hand is very sensitive, not all about facts, and always expressive. It just made me think. I feel guilty about a lot of my actions. I feel hypocritical. Lately I've been missing my family as a whole. I guess going to the wedding really hit home for me. I guess I never wrote about that huh?! Well I went to my Grandpa's wedding and saw a lot of my family. I met 4 new cousins and saw people I hadn't seen in 2 years. I mostly hung out with my Uncle Ben and Aunt Nicki, people who I've always admired. My aunt asked how my mom was and told me that she wished she could've come. Eventually she asked me if my mom had a boyfriend. So I told her that she does and it's getting serious but she doesn't want us to meet him yet to avoid drama. And Nicki said "that means she's really thinking of you guys." And that's so true. All she does is think about us and do everything she can to keep us happy. My dad didn't do that with Robin. He just pushed her on to me. My dad didn't stop and wonder how this divorce was going to affect us. I hated last week when I was over there. He told me all this stuff about how him and Robin have been through so much but he accidentally let out all this info about stuff that's gone on with them. He quit the mariage because he wanted to be with her. He used my mom's alcoholism as an excuse. But if my dad could've just told her what things were bad she would've fixed it. She always does. BUT even if she fixed everything, there was still Robin. It's not fair that both of them are alcoholics. That's no excuse! And now Robin practically lives there. I have to go back over there tomorrow. I'm staying for 12 days because my mom is going out of town. I'm highly dreading it. Wow...I know that stuff was all a week ago but I guess I just didn't let it out yet. I'm scared that I'll grow up to be that lady that can't hold a relationship because of the crap with her father. Kelly Clarkson - "Break Away" Grew up in a small town And when the rain would fall down I just stared out my window Dreaming of a could-be And if I'd end up happy I would pray (I would pray) Trying not to reach out But when I'd try to speak out Felt like no one could hear me Wanted to belong here But something felt so wrong here So I pray (I would pray) I could breakaway [Chorus:] I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky I'll make a wish Take a chance Make a change And breakaway Out of the darkness and into the sun But I won't forget all the ones that I loved I'll take a risk Take a chance Make a change And breakaway Wanna feel the warm breeze Sleep under a palm tree Feel the rush of the ocean Get onboard a fast train Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will) And breakaway [Chorus:] I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky I'll make a wish Take a chance Make a change And breakaway Out of the darkness and into the sun But I won't forget all the ones that I loved I'll take a risk Take a chance Make a change And breakaway Buildings with a hundred floors Swinging around wild indoors Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but Gotta keep moving on, moving on Fly away, breakaway I'll spread my wings And I'll learn how to fly Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye I gotta take a risk Take chance Make a change And breakaway Out of the darkness and into the sun But I won't forget the place I come from I gotta take a risk Take a chance Make a change And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway |
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melancholy| going to a wedding | ||||
| 12:44pm 04/09/2004 | ||||
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| I feel like everyone is lying to me | ||||
| 09:13pm 02/09/2004 | ||||
I think I should go lie down at least so I can get ready to sleep. My dad is in Alanon. He hasn't directly told me. (more lies) he has been hinting a lot. I really dislike it when people test my intelligence. 3 day weekend. I will shop. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the football game. Gosh I just don't like it. I just really really do not want to be here right now. |
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| I am singing crazy made up songs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | ||||
| 08:16pm 29/08/2004 | ||||
I am like so totally hyper right now. I am on the phone with Ken but I'm not talking to him. We're really just talking online. Is that strange? I think so too. Ken is a shmoo. So yesterday I went to Ken's house. We swam and had lots of dirty, naughty cookies. Actually we made cookies and they SUCKED! While I was there he beat me up. So this week has been good. I had a dream that I played the tuba and I had to lead a parade.. BUT THE TUBA WAS TOO HEAVY! and the parade never went on!!!!!!!!!!! I was so sad and disapointed in myself!!!! SPEAKING OF FRIDAY SUCKED I wore my short skirt for the National Anthem. People gave me a hard time about it. I had a tear. I didn't feel like I belonged. blah blah blah. no fun! I'm in a good mood right now so I won't go into that and Steff is my favorite. I AM JAMAICAN! My cross stitch is awesome! Why am I singing like every word I am saying?! What a weirdo I am! Bailey is awesome! my aims...I excedded in math. Got almost a perfect score in reading. and I met the standards in writing. I'm awesome. I got above average on everything. In my writing I got a 4.5 on everything. I suck a writing. I can admit it now. k bye QFAS: "I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately"-forgot his name |
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bouncy| Dad, Robin, Andrea, and Mama drama | ||||
| 12:39pm 21/08/2004 | ||||
So last night after having a bunch of fun at Polar Ice and Steff's house, I came home to an empty house. I fell asleep about 12:30. Then my dad called at 1:15...then again at 2:15 and that time I had heard it. So I answered the phone and my dad asked if Robin was there. I said no. Then he asked if it looked like she had been there. I said no. So my dad told me to get up and turn off the computer. Then he told me to call him when I woke up. So I went back to sleep and was woken up by the guys that do the yard. They happened to be working next to my window (joy). I had a message on my phone and it was my dad telling me to call him when I woke up. So I called and in about ten minutes I got the whole story... Last night while I was gone David told Robin about how we went to see Shrek 2 with Andrea. She wasn't too happy about it. Then he told her that we had gone to Japan with my mom (like 2 years ago might I add) and she got so mad that she walked up to my dad, threw the engagement ring at him, yelled with him for a bit and left. She was mad that my dad hadn't told her about Andrea, even though there was nothing going on between them AND Robin and my dad were broken up at the time. But she was mostly mad about my mom going to Japan. NOW LET ME JUST CLARIFY THIS.................................... She was mad because it was their "special place." WHAT THE PLUCK!? And my dad's defense was "well we were in seperate rooms, and I was busy working and hardly saw her" WTF?! HE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DEFEND HIS WIFE GOING TO JAPAN WITH HIM! That is messed up in so many ways. So basically it was admitted to me that they had a thing going on while my dad was married. Great, I'm so giddy. OH BUT WAIT THERE'S STILL MORE... MY DAD IS IN AA!!! yes, okay no he could not be. He could just be in Alanon Do you believe it?! I found a book for it and it makes so much sense. My mom told me my dad is an alcholic because drinking affects his finances and his relationships. Now I don't think I've ever even seen my dad drink unless we have company. I mean I'm really confused here. That explains why he goes to 3 meetings a day. But the thing is I think he might be going for a different reason. I always thought AA was a good place to go to when you had any problem so he may be doing the same thing. I would be very shocked if I found out my dad was an alcoholic. My mom thinks its Alanon because his mom, my mom, Robin, and Andrea are all alcoholics so he could be trying to cope with that. And now my dad is with Andrea at Starbucks having coffee because he needs a friend. I can't say that if Robin was out of the picture that I'd be totally upset. |
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moody| So I was talking to me mom | ||||
| 06:52pm 19/08/2004 | ||||
Yea my lips taste like Dr. Pepper but I'm drinking Sierra Mist! LOL! So today was the NHS meeting. It looks like I won't be able to be in Drama Club because I have Link Crew week one and NHS week 3...so um it's not so grand. I got my picture taken during lunch. I think it came out really well because I'm cute. ~20 minutes later~ I went to Kara's house to drop off her dress. I met Scott. He's cool. I saw Logan (her brother) and he has gone through MAJOR puberty. His voice is so deep!! and he's all tall and such. |
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amused| David is reading chica chica boom boom! | ||||
| 08:01pm 17/08/2004 | ||||
Jaime is back. Picture day tomorrow. (I'll be studly) Choir room at lunch is awesome! Back to English paper. |
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| Such a weird world | ||||
| 09:11pm 14/08/2004 | ||||
I just watched School of Rock. It's so funny! So last night I had another dream that the world was out to get me. Except this time a guy hypnotized everyone into going after me. I looked out a window and saw Dillon dressed in an army uniform and he said "Look it's her" and everyone started running after me! I was so scared because I was trapped and had no where to go so I said "well why don't I just wake up" and I did. yea yea yea. Well life is all nuts. I feel all unhappy but kinda happy too. I've been crying a lot. I'm not completely sure why. I'm starting to think of stuff. yea Jaime, you coming back Monday? QFAS: "WHY do I FEEL so bad?" |
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okay| things are better at my mom's...sorta | ||||
| 05:51pm 12/08/2004 | ||||
So last night I was on the phone with Ken and I started crying because I felt lonely. I've really been feeling alone a lot lately because I've had to put my feelings on hold so my dad can deal with stuff. and now that I am at my mom's I still can't really talk to her because she is working. When she gets home I basically go to bed. but she has the weekend off so that's all good. Today was an alright day. I said a lot of stupid things. In history I asked where cats came from. Mr. Hermanksi laughed along with everyone else and some poeple like good ole Amanda turned around and had a few words to say to me. But it's a really good question. No one really knows where cats come from!!!! Then in psychology we were part of an experiment and we had to answer a question with some word I didn't know. So I asked him and he everyone looked and laughed. Well I immediatly realized he had just explained it and I felt quite dumb. I was just so absorbed in reading the question that I wasn't paying attention to him. And then today during lunch Ken and I went to the choir room. Well he walked up to one of the practice rooms and looked in the window. The door was closed and apparently Kyle was in there. Well I kissed Ken and Kyle opened the door and had seen us kiss. He later told me that he sees it all the time. That was weird though. I felt all uncomfortable and so did Kyle. I've always thought there's a level of curtisy(sp?) exs are supposed to have so I felt kinda bad. But yea whatever. Something inside of me feels wrong. Just really sad. I'd like it to go away but I'm not sure how. I think I'm gonna go cut my hair and then I'll work on my paper. |
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